Milni & Tea: The Milni is a ceremony that occurs
outside of the temple, between the bride and groom’s families. Milni literally
means “meeting” and the tradition started in India when all marriages were
arranged. It was the first opportunity for all members of each family to meet
each other. While this is not the case anymore, it is still a nice ceremony to
greet the families. As friends and
family stand in a circle, there is a small prayer before the same family member
from each family (ex. Brother, sister, mother etc.), meet in the middle and
exchange a handshake, hug and neck garland.
Following the Milni, everyone proceeds inside to Langar Hall for tea,
refreshments and Indian snacks and sweets. For this occasion, there will also be some non-Indian
snacks and pastries.
Anand Karaj: Finally, it is time
for the wedding ceremony to begin! After a quick tea
and snacks, everyone proceeds upstairs to the main prayer hall (shoes off and heads covered), where kirtan (hymns) are being performed. Once you
have walked down the aisle and made your offering, you are ready to
take your seat on either the women or mens side. The groom and his groomsmen
will also be seated on the mens side until right before the ceremony is about to begin at
which point the priest will motion for the groom to move to the front of the
Guru Granth Sahib. The bride will then enter the hall with her bridesmaids and family and the ceremony will begin.
The ceremony begins with Ardas, (prayer), during which the bride, groom and their parents stand to signify consent of the wedding. After Ardas, everyone is seated again and the officiate begins speaking about the significance of marriage and the importance of the bride and groom's duties and obligations to each other as equal partners. The father of the bride then takes one end of a sash (palla) worn over the groom's shoulder and places it in his daughter's hand. This is similar to the father "giving away" his daughter in a western ceremony and symbolizes just that - the bride is now leaving her father's care to enter that of her new husband's.
The Lavan, (marital hymns) come next and are recited as the couple make four rounds around the Guru Granth Sahib. The Lavan are the most important and significant part of the Sikh wedding ceremony. While each verse is being recited, the bride walks behind the groom as they circle the Guru Granth Sahib four seperate times. The bride is guided by each of her brothers or males in her family that represent that relationship. Each revolution signifies a different spiritual element of marriage and the committment made by the couple with Guru as their witness.
The very vague and most simplified meanings of the verses for each round are given below:
First Round: the Lord gives his instructions for married life and proclaims that the marriage ceremony has begun. Second Round: the Lord leads you to meet the True Guru. He is the center of a marriage and such a marriage will always be filled with joy and love. Third Round: the mind is filled with divine love. Fourth Round: the final stage of marriage and the fulfillment of the goal of life. The couple becomes one soul in two bodies.
Once the Lavan are complete, the couple is officially married! Rings are exchanged and there will be Ardas (prayer), where everyone stands and perhaps a speech or two to bless the newly wed couple.
While everyone is seated, a Sikh from the Gurdwara will go around to each person of the congregation with Karah Prashad - food offering. Customarily, when the Sikh is nearby, we hold our hands together, palm side up and he will place the prashad in our cupped hands. PLEASE NOTE: prashad can be a little greasy and is an acquired taste for a lot of us. Do not feel pressured to eat it all! It is made from butter, wheat flour, and sugar and is made by the Sikhs at the Gurdwara. It is considered disrespectful declining the offering of prashad; however, if this does not apply to non-Sikhs, we will update this post. Again, if you can't finish it, wrap it up in your napkin and throw it away when you go back downstairs.
Ardas
While everyone is seated, a Sikh from the Gurdwara will go around to each person of the congregation with Karah Prashad - food offering. Customarily, when the Sikh is nearby, we hold our hands together, palm side up and he will place the prashad in our cupped hands. PLEASE NOTE: prashad can be a little greasy and is an acquired taste for a lot of us. Do not feel pressured to eat it all! It is made from butter, wheat flour, and sugar and is made by the Sikhs at the Gurdwara. It is considered disrespectful declining the offering of prashad; however, if this does not apply to non-Sikhs, we will update this post. Again, if you can't finish it, wrap it up in your napkin and throw it away when you go back downstairs.
